Quote of the Day

"Being an assistant in this town is like taking a 9-year-old to FAO Schwartz and telling him not to touch anything. If a bunch of 9-year-olds were stuck in that store for three years and weren't able to touch anything, they'd have boozing and smoking problems too. They'd be homicidal too. Which I think is my problem."

- Hunter Seidman

Download This (another 12 track playlist)

“I Don’t Care” – Fall Out Boy

“Pop Lie” – Okkervil River

“Gives you Hell” – The All American Rejects

“Does This Mean You’re Moving On?” – The Airborne Toxic Event

“Love Lockdown” – Kanye West

“Sequestered in Memphis” – The Hold Steady

“Black Heroes” – Ratatat

“Umbrella” – All Time Low

“Churches Under the Stairs” – Broken Social Scene

“Ayo Technology” – Milow

“It’s the Love” – The Breeders

“Natural Disaster” – Plain White T’s

08-09 Fantasy Football Week 2 (The "Fuck You Michael Turner" week)

If Kharma cares about fantasy football, it’s pretty clear she slapped me across the face with a nice little reality check last week. It wasn’t a complete disaster. But it was tough.

Money League

Lost, 94-99, which dropped me all the way down to 5^th out of 12. Pretty much everybody underperformed but there were three primary reasons I lost: a) RB Michael Turner, b) WR Andre Johnson, and c) WR Randy Moss Turner was a complete bust this week, which hurt even more since he was so amazing last week. Moss was a basic no show, catching 2 passes for a total of 22 yards, and zero touchdowns. But what really killed me was Hurricane Ike. It postponed the Houston/Baltimore game, and left me with an empty spot on my starting roster where 20-point man Johnson used to be. I’d be REALLY angry about this if it weren’t for the fact that my silly little fantasy concerns pale in comparison to the real world people who actually had to suffer through the hurricane. Hopes and well-wishes to those poor folk.

My opponent, REECE (!), underperformed as well, but got enough from TE Jason Witten and RB Marion Barber in Monday night’s shootout to squeak by. Losing in that final game always sucks.

League record – 1-1

Bragging Rights League

Everything here went basically according to plan, despite the same problems from Turner and Johnson, and despite my choice to support Patriots QB Matt Cassel with positive vibes by starting him over stat-stud Tony Romo. Cassel under-performed statistically, but they won the REAL game, so I’ll just be happy with that…and of course the fact that I won this fake game too. My sneak attack pick this week was Seahawks TE John Carlson, who at least doubled expectations in every league. Coincidentally, I watched the games in a random Seahawks bar. I never expected this bar to even EXIST in LA. Then I find myself alone in the corner watching the Pats game on mute in the tiniest TV in the bar. Bizzaro world.

But really, it was WR Anquan Boldin who carried my team this week, negating a 51 point performance from my opponent’s QB (Philip Rivers).

Final score – 153.56 – 142.81.

League record – 2-0

Blitz League

I beat THE BRU down. Everybody but Turner performed well. Tony Romo once again came up huge for THE BRU, but once again it wasn’t enough. Final score – 308.30-242.65.

In other league news, DRAMA eked out a win from THE INVADER (287-263), while THE CHINAMAN straight destroyed MR. NICE GUY, embarrassing him with a 358.90-140.85 victory. This also gave him first place in the league, and I’ll battle him for that title this week.

League record – 2-0

Overall Fantasy Record – 5-1 (Boo. Yeah)

Okkervil and Friends

The summer of '06 I started using Emusic.com, a great paysite that provides access and often introduces people to new indie music. It isn't ALL indie music, of course, but you won't find any major label albums on there. Anyway, I discovered a bunch of great bands there (The Hold Steady, Bon Iver, The National, etc.) and most of them have since gotten pretty big.
One of these bands, Okkervil River, played Lollapalooza this year and promptly killed it on stage. And they're getting a following as a result. These guys consistently put out stellar albums and EPs, as many and as often as two a year, so its about time they've got some recognition.
Their latest album, THE STAND INS, came out a couple weeks ago, and it might be their best (or at least their most accessible) yet. Still, these guys are largely unknown, so when I told K-FED to check them out and he couldn't find them on YouTube (his preferred platform for new music listening), I wasn't surprised. Then a funny thing happened - he found a whole slew of Okkervil related videos, including this cover of the song ("Pop Lies") I told him to listen to:



The cover is performed by a band called Bird of Youth, who I'm not familiar with. It's pretty standard, as far as singer/guitar covers go. The cool thing, to me, is that the song is even covered in the first place. Then I saw a link to this:



A cover of ANOTHER Okkervil song, this one by Bon Iver himself. And it's pretty good. Even the simplistic video is conceived well.

But what's really cool to me about this is the sense of community that comes along with it. Indie artists covering other indie artists, raising awareness about themselves and each other by posting it online, and sharing it with friends and fans in a very relaxed, appreciative way. It's exactly the opposite of almost everything I experience in Hollyhood, and exactly the thing that makes artistic community so appealing to me.

By the way, K-FED didn't dig the song, but that's his loss. The more important thing is, he knows who they are now.

Download This (a 12 track playlist)

The first in a new series of song recommendations, I've decided to toss off a weakly (translating to "whenever I feel like it") playlist of mostly new tracks I'm digging right now. Below, the first entry:

“Rocky Took a Lover” – BellX1

“Repetition Kills You” – The Black Ghosts

“Dawn of the Dead” – Does It Offend You, Yeah?

“Dancing Choose” – TV On the Radio

“1,000,000” – Nine Inch Nails

“The End of the Line” – Mettalica

“Cheap and Cheerful” – The Kills

“Magazines” – The Hold Steady

“Gasoline” – The Airborne Toxic Event

“I’m With You” – The Stills

“My Friend” – Dr. Dog

“Murder in the City” – The Avett Brothers

Tepid Entertainment

I’ve been writing weekly movie reviews for a NH paper for a little more than 7 years. In that time I’ve missed maybe a total of 7 weeks, usually supplanting a seasonal preview or Oscar column or something of that sort. I don’t do this because the pay is good (it’s not). I don’t do it out of loyalty, although I’m sure that factors into it. I primarily do it for two reasons:

1.) to keep writing, and to keep writing for a deadline (I can’t emphasize enough how important this is)

2.) to continue my cinematic education and stay in touch with the current movie world.

This isn’t entirely academic of course. I love movies, TV, music…I consume a lot of it because I enjoy it, and in turn it keeps me immersed in pop culture, which I consider just as important.

Anyway, I don’t post these reviews here because, well, I’m not always so nice. But I do email them to a few people, and occasionally these people respond, and these responses stir up dorky little arguments. Last week I reviewed BANGKOK DANGEROUS and defined it as “Tepid Entertainment” – a film “that quasi-entertains through detached, un-distracting storytelling, rarely alerting us to its presence but never worsening our day either.” One reader, who responds more than most (often to argue against me, about movies he hasn’t even seen, if only to throw me a few jabs and keep me sharp) thought this was a part of a bigger picture. I’m sure he doesn’t mind me sharing his two cents:

“I think you're hitting on something bigger than you were expecting to in this review. You got to it right at the end. The action genre has gone TEPID.

I'd be willing to say that even Die Hard 4.0 suffered from this. No matter how cool (J. Long) and campy (K. Smith) and hot (That Elizabeth ??? chick) and awesome (Bruce)... it still felt tepid.

I think that the only way is to reconstruct the genre by reflecting the truth. The harsh reality. Kill the hero! Evil abides. Like the dude. It's the reason why "No Country" got such acclaim.

Even poppy afterbirths such as "Bangkok" and anything else that's been out since "Heat" will forever lock the genre into a glitzy, cartoonish, overacted, CGI'd smorgasbord.

I think that filmmakers have forgotten that, as Jean Luc Godard once said, ‘...all you need for a movie is a gun and a girl!’”

I agree with him, to a certain extent. Even WANTED, which tries so hard to make our eyes pop, feels generic and standard these days. It’s tougher and tougher to wow people, and somehow simultaneously easier to pump out a buffet of standard. I imagine this is similar to what The Western went through as a genre, on its way to the endangered species list.

Remember, the action genre as we know it only really came into its own in the 1980s. It’s evolved since then, but only to a degree. DIE HARD was and always will be a high point. It’s the pinnacle. And THE MATRIX was the evolution. But since then, where have we gone? Where will we go? And is the action flick going the way of the west?

To be fair, I still enjoy these flicks, and the standard western was never really THAT bad. But people grew sick of the same ole thing. It’s hard to believe that would happen again. And, based on my current project, I hope it doesn’t.

“Poppy afterbirth.” Gotta love that.

Fantasy Football 08-9, Week 1 (Shameless Bragging)

The first week of the 2008-2009 Fantasy Football season is officially closed, and aside from the massive, darkening, disheartening shadow that is Tom Brady’s season-ending injury, I’m pretty damned happy with the results. As is the norm, I’ve got three leagues going this year, one for money, one for bragging rights, and a third for shits and giggles.

Money League

I actually didn’t realize this WAS a money league until yesterday, which is alright because I won anyway. This league is almost completely comprised of assistants/interns/deviants from the Brillstein Co., the rival management company across the street. And when I say rival, I mean like the Pats and the Bills, in that there really IS no rivalry but the lesser team (i.e. The Bills) likes to think there is. In this unfortunate comparison, however, I’m representing The Bills – Brillstein is the flashier, richer, glitzier, organization and we’re the underdogs with promise. I’m outnumbered 11-1 by higher-than-though “I have bagels every morning and get $250 gift cards for my birthday” chumps. So of course, I gots to represent!

Kicked off strong the first week, defeating “Da Pain 5” 137-70 (I guess he had the pain, but he forgot to bring it. Ba-dump-ching). #1 reason why? RB Michael Turner. 35 points when he was projected for 17. The man is a beast, a sleeper on a sleeper team. He was my secret weapon going into the draft, and so far I’m feeling pretty good about that.

WRs Randy Moss and Andre Johnson brought in an expected 21 points each. All went according to plan. Unfortunately for the victim, he can’t stay the same. WR Chad Ocho Cinco stumbled in with 3 points. TE Todd Heap gave him -1. But really, when your #2 receiver is Chris Chambers and your QB is flaky Matt Hasselbeck, how do you EXPECT to win?

(Note: I’m a Hasselbeck fan, ‘cause he’s bald, but The Bald Alliance only carries you so far. Jason Statham EARNS his kick-ass bald guy card. Michael Chiklis defines it on THE SHIELD. Time to step up, Hassels. You’re already losing points cause your name reminds me of this dude.)

As an added bonus, my 137 points is the most in the league and puts me in first place. Suck it, Brillstein.

Bragging Rights League (STEVIE DRAMA’S League)

What’s this? Another first place ranking? After beating down my DC buddy/Madden rivalry STEVIE DRAMA? Okay fine, I’m being a dick. But this IS the bragging rights league, so I’ll give myself a pass. Plus I won this league last year, so I’ve got some residual high to burn off.

Michael Turner came up big in this one too, rushing for 39.40 and securing me “based on week one, I drafted better than you” bravioso. WR Andre Johnson, RB Marshawn Lynch and Team Tennessee all came up big for me, negating the fact that I played WR Jabar Gaffney on a hunch and got a whopping ZERO POINTS from my #3 receiver. But that’s related to The Shadow, so let’s just leave it alone, shall we?

DRAMA, on the other hand, had basically no one come through. QB Caron Palmer, WR T.J. Houshmandzada, RB Joseph Addai - all M.I.A. RBs Willie Parker and Matt Forte (perhaps his smartest pick) came up strong and could have carried the Cincy/Indy bodybags to a close game, accept DRAMA also started WRs Marvin Harrison and Devin Hester at #2 and #3. A geriatric and a punt return specialist. You HAVE to do better than that.

Final score: 163.16 – 125.97.

NFL BLITZ LEAGUE (shits n’ giggles)

The Blitz league is the fun league – 5 CBC members and one Brillstein invader, making for All-Star teams and skyrocketing points. Appropriately, I put The Invader in his place with a 326.45 – 285.85 win. Michael Turner (sensing a pattern here?) was huge again, as was RB Willie Parker, TE Jason Witten, WR Terrell Owens and basically everybody else on the team. The one downer? THE SHADOW. Brady gave me 5.55 points before hitting the IR. Thankfully in fantasy land, I don’t have to rely on Matt Cassel to pick up the slack. I refuse to drop Brady though. Out of loyalty, he’ll keep a roster spot for the rest of the season. But I CAN win without him.

The Invader, meanwhile, will blame WRs Marques Colston and Santonio Holmes for his loss (just about 4 points between them) and a comparative lack of production from LT. He may be right.

In other league news, MR. NICE GUY basically beat the crap out of THE BRU, and had a much more creative and appropriate team motto (“O’Doyle Rules!”). BRU got damn near 100 points out of Tony Romo, but still finished with a meek 185. He’s in the basement, and I plan on keeping him there next week.

DRAMA, meanwhile, lost again, this time to THE CHINAMAN, who slapped the brass knuckles on in this one, beating DRAMA down with his own, beloved G-MEN. Eli, Plax and Jacobs combined for 140.65 points. DRAMA, on the other hand, got a total of 13 points from two RBs and his #2 WR. That’s GOTTA hurt.

Week 1 Results – 3-0. Boo. Yeah. Bitches.

Numbers (Vegas on the Brain)

Today during my “LOST Lunch” I finished my 2^nd run through the 1^st season of THE GREATEST SHOW FEATURING AN ISLAND AND TIME TRAVEL EVER! So obviously, I’ve had numbers on the brain. Have you ever thought about what purpose numbers serve in society? How we rely on them as crutches of structure and itemization, how we would probably collapse in murmured mumblings without their ever-present reassurance of measurement and universal definition? Have you ever been that bored and dorky? No? Well, I have. Here are how a few numbers presently define my life and the world around me.

7 – as in, 7 days from now I’ll be partying it up with the CBC in Vegas. I realize everybody is probably sick of hearing me talk about it, but I can’t help it. This trip basically rules my livelihood right now. Everything I do, every moment that passes is just a countdown to this trip. Sad, exciting, but so.

51 – along with the Vegas trip comes the reason for that trip. According to our convenient countdown at www.jessandwheeler.com, the wedding will take place exactly 51 days from, oh, about 6 hours ago. 51 seems like a big number compared to 7, which is why 7 is occupying my space time continuum to such an extent. But when compared to the 740 (which is approximately about the numbers of days that have passed since we’ve started planning this whole thing) it doesn’t seem like much. This wedding is just around the corner. I almost can’t process just how soon it is. After Vegas, it’s full steam ahead.

23 – as in, August 23^rd, which is my birthday, and just happens to correlate with my trip to (you guessed it) VEGAS! I’m not really a big birthday guy, although J-MO has done her damndest to make them all pretty kick ass. She usually does this by doing more than I ever ask for. It’s like adding lots of cool tricks to an already cool game. They make it that much better, but I’d be happy with less. I’m just not too demanding in this department.

Anyway, combining these three things (Bachelor Party, Birthday, CBC reunion) into one, ultimate weekend in Vegas…well, it just seems like my birthday is part of a grander good.

27 – as in, I’M 27 FUCKING YEARS OLD NOW? Does this mean I have to grow up? Does this mean I’m getting old? Does this mean I should be suffering through some Zach Braff-like late 20s crisis? I hope not. At some point, and I really can’t pinpoint when…but at some point I got excited about being an adult. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about “what was” when I was younger. High school, college, a general lack of worldly responsibility. But now I look forward to, you know, the future fun stuff. My grandfather is 100 years old. He wears a diaper now, but still. Barring any personal disaster, I’ve got a ways to go. I’m planning on enjoying the trip.

8 – as in 8 gold medals in 8 tries. As in perfection. How is no one talking about how Michael Phelps needs to be PERFECT in order to achieve this 8 medal goal? It’s not like he’s competing 9 times and has any sort of leeway. He has to win EVERY SINGLE TIME. It’s like if people spoke about the 2004 ALCS, after that 19-8 game three blowout, and said “well, the Sox only have to win 4 games to advance to the next round. They only have to win 4 games to make history.” They only had to be PERFECT to advance, to make history. They had to win 4 IN A ROW. Phelps has to DOUBLE that feat. DOUBLE. And everyone will be SOOOOO disappointed if he only wins 7 or (God forbid) 6. Only. This baffles me.

451,888,386 – The dollar amount for THE DARK KNIGHT’s domestic B.O. haul to date. Look how big that number is. Just look at it. Damn. That’s a big number.

Fun Quote of the Day

"I wish I could just sleep till Vegas" - THE CHINAMAN

Letters Lost

When I first started at this company, it was a very different place. It was smaller, had a different vibe, housed different people. Over the last 4 months it has expanded, reached out and collapsed in. Like breathing, it exhaled a few people, collected in a few more. One of those people exhaled was a talent manager, and he took with him his client list, which was pretty small but substantial in notoriety. This isn’t a post about a loss of talent, though. His clients have been replaced with newer, different clients. And it isn’t a post judging the people new or old – I liked the ones that left, I like the ones that came.

There’s an incidental, transitional element that I every so often notice, and every so often it breaks my heart a little. See, that talent manager that left? One of his clients was a popular young Disney star, the kind that inspires hundreds or thousands of young girls (and a few boys) across the country to track down a mailing address and send off heartfelt, handwritten letters, pictures and symbols of adornment. In reality, she probably never received these as a client. But there was always that chance they would. Now that her manager is gone, they collect in piles on a ledge, never to be seen, opened, recognized and especially not responded to.

How is that not sad? It’s like writing a letter to Santa Clause, only maybe worse. To a thousand little girls across the country, this Disney star it their hero or idol or roll model. They reached out. They sent crayon-labeled envelopes. And those envelopes go almost directly to the garbage bin. They aren’t even recycled. They never had a chance.

And that sucks.

This Week in My Life... (A Rambling)

It’s been a weird week. Saturday I caught up with some Bostonians I haven’t seen since high school (amazingly, they don’t seem to have changed a bit). Sunday I came down with a wicked cold/flu/viral ass-kicking that had me sprawled out across the floor after my walk back from the Culver downtown theater. I’d love to blame this sickness on THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, which I suffered through quite numbly, but in reality it’s probably my inability to de-stress and relax that allowed for the viral invasion.

I woke up the same on Monday but went to work anyway, and then proceeded to clumsily break one of the cardinal rules in this godforsaken industry – I asked THE BOSS, a dude who’s about ten to twenty rungs above me in the Hollywood latter I’m staring up everyday – to read my script. I figured, “Hey, I can’t just wait around for something good to come to me. I need to make it happen!” The verdict’s out on that decision.

Tuesday I felt mildly delirious, and again went to work anyway. THE BOSS was traveling into a literal hurricane, which of course set us up for a travel disaster. That’s always fun to deal with. I bet it really made him want to read my script. I pray to God he didn’t. I ended the night alternating between uncontrollable shivers and couch-soaking sweats, with a fever somewhere in the 103degree range.

I went to work the next morning, battened down the hatches and escaped home for some much needed R&R. The idea of being sick in August is ridiculous to me. The idea of neglecting to take time off from work for fear of backlash is even worse. The reality that I spent the afternoon dealing with emails and scheduling anyway? (This is why I can’t relax).

I woke up today at about 85%, which is fucking fantastic. I’ve listen to EQX all day, which has supercharged my spiritual recovery (the fantastic “real alternative” station of my youth, available for free, from thousands of miles away, courtesy of the internet…gotta love it). I’ve had great fun at my coworker’s expense (see post below), though he might someday try to kill me for it. Maybe tonight. I read a great script by a friend, which is always nice. I fucked up a conference call, which happens. I’m happy.

It’s weird how some days you wake up and just know you’re going to have a good day. I take a few moments every morning before I walk into the office to think about the things I’m thankful for. I use the time to pump myself up, to put myself in a positive frame of mind. Because no matter how bad things might seem in the moment, I know I have a pretty darned good life. More positive than negative. I think if we take time to really consider everything, most of us can say that.

Anyway, today I didn’t really need it, and it’s been that kind of day. There are still problems, still some pretty big issues to work out (with a wedding coming up and a career up in the air, how can there not be?). But they honestly don’t seem that bad right now.

To top it all off, I have two things I’m EXTREMELY thankful for at the moment. The first is J-MO, who’s been nothing short of an angel taking care of me this week. Believe me, it’s a tough job. I’m not the best person to be around when I’m sick.

The second is the bachelor party, which is just two weeks from tonight. TWO WEEKS. I can hardly believe that. We’ve been planning it forever, and it’s basically here. Well, THE CHINAMAN and co. have done the bulk of the planning, but still. These two weeks will fly by, like life always does. Then Vegas. Then the wedding.

I’m psyched.

For Hunter, courtesy of Fish, with love

R. I. P. CHAD

“Mr. Charitable Contribution”

Chad Pennington | #10 | QB

Height: 6-3 Weight: 225 Age: 32

Born: 6/26/1976 Knoxville , TN

College: Marshall

Experience: 9th season

You threw for 13,738 yards in your illustrious career with the JETS, just slightly less than Brett Favre (47,917 less).Your uncanny ability to fuck everything up will not be forgotten. Nor will the many charitable contributions you made to New York and the NFL.

Bye, Bye Manny

Manny Ramirez has left the building, to which I say “Good Riddance.” Look, I know we can’t replace his bat. I know he’s a Hall of Famer. I know what he’s done for us in the past. I know he was a fun guy to have around. I don’t care. I got sick of it, of his lack of hustle, of his bitching and moaning and playing only when he felt like it. I got sick of it all. So yeah, I’m alright with him leaving, for those and these reasons:

1.) We just got swept by the Angels WITH Manny in the lineup. If we’re gonna win the series, we’re gonna go through Anaheim. There’s no way around that. We might not do better with Jason Bay, but we can’t actually do worse.

2.) Jason Bay is a good hitter. Not great “Manny in his prime” type stuff. But good. He’s also younger, faster, a better fielder and a harder worker. In the long run, this will be good for us. I’m sure of it.

3.) We were going to lose Manny anyway, and get nothing for him. Now we’ve got a 29-year-old , former Rookie of the Year, two-time All Star that we can lock into a multi-year contract. Manny didn’t have a future in Boston. Jason Bay does. He’s 6 years younger and entering his prime as Manny leaves is. That sounds pretty good.

4.) Manny didn’t want to be here. He said we didn’t deserve him. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who thinks they’re too good to stick around. Fuck ‘em. He’ll fit in nicely with the crazies on Hollywood Blvd.

The War On Beer Pong (aka, the dumbest reason for anything we've ever been able to call a "war")

There was an interesting article in TIME today about The War on Beer Pong. Apparently, this rowdy, vulgar, and potentially dangerous game that’s been sweeping college campuses and townie keg parties for the better part of three decades has finally raised enough awareness and detractors to merit a “war.” It’s banned on numerous campuses (along with related paraphernalia and “inordinate numbers of ping pong balls”) and in several towns. Dartmouth won’t even let you play “water pong” for fear of an H2O overdose. I’m not even kidding here.

Three weeks from tonight, in the “opening ceremonies” of my weekend long bachelor party in Vegas, I’ll be playing beer pong. This is a guarantee. I know I’m getting old. I know there are better things to do in Vegas. I’m aware of the inherent “risks.” I don’t care. Beer Pong is, above all else, a bonding right of passage. Many of my fondest memories from college are beer pong memories, and I’m still looking to make a few more. Hopefully no one will die in the process. There’s a 99.9% chance no one will. But there’s a 100% chance we’ll have fun.

Chilax, people. There are better, more important wars to be fought.

Stay Positive

“You spend your time sitting in circles with your friends, pontificating to each other, forever competing for that one moment of self-aggrandizing glory in which you hog the intellectual spotlight, holding dominion over the entire SHALLOW... POINTLESS... conversation. (Oh we're not worthy!)”

– Admit It!!!, by Say Anything

In my Toxicity post, I wrote about how easy it is to be negative as opposed to supportive. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been that way myself. It’s hard to work as a “reader” in Hollyhood and not be. There’s so much junk out there that eventually you feel angered not only by its existence but by your obligation to have to actually read it (particularly when you’re paid next to nothing to do so). I haven’t figured out exactly how to reverse that associative negativity, but I have learned that there’s no point allowing it to infiltrate your “real” life, particularly when it comes to the work of your friends.

In the past I’ve been harsh when reading my friends creative works. I somehow felt justified - by the fact that others would be harsh. By the fact that I was “just being honest.” And probably, secretively, by the fact that they had been harsh to me.

But there’s a difference between “being honest” and being an asshole. These are your friends! (or at least their supposed to be) What good is it, really, to be a jerk to them when they mess up? How can it help to be an asshole about it? Are you even really trying to help?

When reading the script of a friend (or offering critique on a painting, or song, or idea, whatever) it’s important to be “constructive honest.” You want to help, and you obviously can’t do that by telling them its perfect as it is (unless it somehow, amazingly, is). But you aren’t helping at all by breaking them down. You’re just making your criticism (and probably your friendship) that much more worthless to them. Point out the flaws, but do it with tact. And don’t ignore the things they get right, because more often than not, there’s as much right as there is wrong, if not more so. I’d rather be positive than negative.

I guess it comes down to a matter of respect, for that friend’s accomplishments, and for your friend in general. Honestly, it’s been easier for me lately, as I mostly interact with honest-to-goodness talented writers and people. But in the future I’m going to keep all this in mind, because, above all else, I don’t want to be the jackoff in that opening quote.

My senior year in college we spent a lot of time with a guy we dubbed ROCKET RICHARD (the last bit pronounced French via Boston, in allusion to a great Montreal hockey player) for his particularly direct beer pong style. ROCKET was a good guy. We all enjoyed spending time with him. But he was also “that guy,” the guy who will love a band for years but drop them when they get popular…who hates things that are cool because they are cool…who hates because it’s cool to hate. There’s an irony in that, isn’t there?

Anyway, we’ve all lost touch with ROCKET RICHARD, but it’s easy enough to find people like him. People that the above song are dedicated to. People who hate the hype because it is hype, without ever considering that the hype, for the most part, generally comes from somewhere worthy.

It’s equally easy to find that person in the mirror. I’ve done it, and it sucks. As a general guiding theme of life, I’m trying to avoid being that way, anytime, anywhere, in any aspect of my life. Hating for the sake of hating is never cool. Nothing positive comes from hatred. Nothing. Ever.

And me, I just want to be positive.

"We've gotta stay positive" - The Hold Steady

THE DARK KNIGHT, in brief

Look, the film is amazing. A masterpiece. Ledger is phenomenal, and yeah he should get the Oscar, not because he's gone but because of the performance he put in before he left (I have a tendency of pimping popcorn fare for Oscar gold this year...Downy Jr. was my previous front runner). I won't gush on about it like I did in my "real world" review, but I'll say this: everything K-FED says in his review is true, so count me down as simply seconding the notion.

Updated Summer Blockbuster Smackdown Standings:

1.) THE DARK KNIGHT
2.) Everything Else...

Reflections on a week without J-MO

Tonight J-MO will return from her week in the real world. She saw some friends, went to a wedding, spent time with the family, prepped for our own wedding and reconnected with her New England state of mind. I, meanwhile, stuck to my current status quo in LaLaLand…or at least tried to. A few reflections on my time in LA without my fiancé…

• I forgot how to sleep. Seriously, it was like I unlearned everything I knew about sleep. I didn’t know what time to go to bed. I didn’t know where to sleep in the bed. I seriously debated which side to get out of for fear of starting my day on the wrong side. I woke up with headaches. It was horrible.
• My cat is demanding and manipulative. These are things I already knew, but were made all the more apparent without J-MO there to deal with half of them. And I’m a sucker for it. I let my cat boss me around. How sad is that?
• I eat like a bachelor. Last night I had a leftover Turkey club from work. The night before I ate three hotdogs. Friday night I ordered the standard pizza, then spread it out over three meals. It really all boils down to not having to PLAN dinner. Things are more thrown together with less care. It makes for an easier life, if not necessarily enjoyable. J-MO, for her part, isn’t too picky about meals. But when she’s here, I care more.
• The first part of my faux-bachelor week I indulged in a particularly manly slobbery – i.e. the place was a mess, and I kind of enjoyed that. I tend to have trouble relaxing on Sundays when the apartment isn’t clean, though, so eventually I cleaned up. Fun fact – once I got around to actually cleaning, it stayed clean…or cleaner than when J-MO’s here. I can’t stop the crappy L.A. air from spreading its death dust, and I can’t stop PEPPER from turning my carpet into a shag rug (damn, does that cat shed!) but I can cut down on the clutter of shoes, purses, bags, clothes and notebooks tossed throughout the apartment. This is the cleanest this apartment’s been on a Wednesday…ever.
• Contrarily, I ran out of hand soap the day after she left…or at least got to the point where the pump was rendered useless. I survived 4 more days banging the crap out of the container like a ketchup bottle in an effort to get every last drop.
• The most important reflection from my time without J-MO…she’s my best friend, and I wouldn’t be able to survive this place without her.

WATCHMEN Trailer

The trailer for Zach Snyder's adaptation of comic book classic WATCHMEN is available here. Personally, I thought the book had great storytelling potential and I'm hoping Snyder and his team got it right (the trailer is a good indication). Over on his blog, K-FED argues the story isn't all that great, and fears the movie will be a complete disaster. You can check the back and forth out here.
I'm confident I'll be right in the end, as is usually the case in an argument with K-FED :-p

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Brilliant, simple, dorky greatness. Check it out here.

5 weeks from today, I'll be road tripping across the desert

Vegas is now just five weeks away. I’ve cleared the days off with work. I’ve started putting together the party mixes. And now, all but CRAMMER have booked a ticket. The excitement is building. There is no turning back now.

We’ll kick this fantastic weekend off with a desert road trip from Hollyhood to The City of Sin, a 4 hour drive that will also act as a mini-reunion. 3 of the 4.5 members of last Fall’s poorly dubbed “Pimp Suite” will be reuniting for the first time since THE RU packed his bags and drove The Rumobile back to Boston. More than 8 months since his departure, RU will join RICAN and I for the desert trek, and I can’t think of a better way to start our trip than four hours of good tunes, good laughs and good driving with the two coolest, easiest going dudes from my BU days.

Thanks to months of planning spearheaded by THE CHINAMAN, THE DUDE, THE DUDER and EL DUDERINO will finally reunite and roll into town for the first night’s house party. We recently realized that when THE CBC get together, it’s the first night that hits us the hardest while the rest of the weekend is spent in a form of (oft alcohol infused) recovery.

Now I have only 5 weeks to prepare. This weekend I’ll have to get pumped, pop in BEERFEST and begin my training…

Summer Blockbuster Smackdown 2008, Week 13

Another double feature last Sunday (the 2nd of the summer!). Began the day with HELLBOY II, then snuck next door to join CHARLIE MURPHY (no, not the real Charlie Murphy) and his buddy for WALL-E, just in time for the opening short. The verdict WALL-E by K.O. I'll sum it up with a snippet from my review:

"Wall-E is Pixar at its fundamental best – smart, clever, cute and visually phenomenal. Plenty of people will see Hellboy II, and most will enjoy it. But everybody should see Wall-E, and most will love it."

Updated Standings:
1.) Iron Man
2.) Forgetting Sarah Marshall
3.) Wall-E
4.) Hancock
5.) Get Smart
6.) The Incredible Hulk
7.) Kung Fu Panda
8.) Hellboy II: The Golden Army
9.) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
10.) The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
12.) Speed Racer
13.) The Strangers
14.) Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
15.) You Don't Mess With the Zohan
16.) Wanted

Reactionary thoughts: Both HANCOCK and HAROLD leapfrogged up a spot due to lasting entertainment factors (longevity, people!) while INDY is about to be knocked out of the top ten. All in all, it's been a pretty good summer at the movies. And TDK and PINEAPPLE EXPRESS are yet to come...

I have nothing to complain about

Cocaine Ravages Another Innocent Soul

Remember that nice little band of dorks, The Barnaked Ladies? Well, one of their goofy lead singers (the one with the glasses) was just arrested for Cocaine possession. And yet another part of my innocent youth is destroyed. Soon only the Pound Puppies and Scooby-Doo will remain.

Wait, Scooby and Shaggy were doing WHAT in that van?!?!

Tear.

Zach de la Rocha is STILL Angry...

...But is his music still as good? The new track from his side project, One Day As A Lion, is up on his MySpace page and, well, it didn't blow me away. His keyboards feel like a sad Tom Morello replacement.

Speaking of Rage, when STEVIE DRAMA was in town a month ago (has it been that long?) we hit up Rodeo Drive and blasted "Down Rodeo." Two white boys in a shiny red Mazda with J-MO in the back seat, bobbin our heads to lyrics like:

"So now I'm rolling down Rodeo with a shotgun/these people ain't seen a brown skin man since their grandparents bought one."

Yeeeeaaaahhh

Save the Boobies!

According to a recent TIME article, breast self-exams are pretty much useless and can lead to more harm than good in the form of unnecessary biopsies. If we continue like this, thousands upon thousands of boobies will be lost!

Stop the madness! Save the boobies!

(seriously, though...this is an interesting lesson in overly preventive measures. Is it becoming easier and easier in our overly dependent society to find medical problems where there aren't any? Can we ever be too careful? Or are these risks we have to take?)

RollingStone LOVES Holdin Steady

The Hold Steady is featured on this week's New Music Report over at rollingstone.com. If you're bored, check it out.

I will make you like this band!

White Red Panic Trailer

The trailer for Ayz Waraich's White Red Panic is up here. Why is this of any importance? Because not only does it visually look AMAZING, it's also a short film. Short films used to be calling cards, a chance for would-be director hot shots to show what they've got. Lately that's become less and less the case. So to find a short film I'm excited about seeing?

Well, at the least it gave me something to blog about.

Cool Quote #1

In my last failed attempt at keeping a blog, I had a recurring "cool quote" series that I've decided to revive with this fun little diddy from Michael Stipe.

"I'm not one to sit and spin, cause living well's the best revenge" - R.E.M.

"Automatic for the People" is one of my all time favorite albums. At the very least, it's in the top 5. In my younger, more impressionable days it spoke to me, like comfort food to the soul. To this day it manages to do the same thing, like a home cooked meal from mom, or deep dish pepperoni pizza from Subway (mmmmmmmm, Subway pizzaaaaaaa).

Anyway, it's interesting that decades later, the band can still hit me with a new and poignant quote. And yes, I know this quote is itself quoting a dead Welsh poet, but who the fuck is George Herbert to me?

Sometimes it isn't the words that matter as much as the device that delivers them.

And sometimes it's probably a combination of both...

While We're On the Topic of Awesome Trailers (Dollhouse)

Joss Whedon has new show slated for next fall, and judging from this trailer, it looks to be appropriately filled with geeky cool wonderment. It may even be able to top J.J.'s lukewarm FRINGE (although I hear they're tinkering with the pilot for that one in an attempt to eliminate the surprisingly sucky parts).

AND, it keeps to the trend of Boston awesomeness. So now you have to check it out.

Somewhere, Zina is doing a happy dance...

Is Genius defined by Nuttiness?

I managed to get my hands on a copy of the final draft of this long gestating WWII script that is finally going into production. This is a formal submission, mind you, and it arrived with a hand-scribbled title page. The script itself is broke down into chapters, outlined in the page 1 table of contents. It's obviously the product of a typewriter, and suffers from a severe lack of proofreading. The dialog is long, rambling and generally very boring. The characters are charactures. The story itself is strung together by a structure of paperclips, scotch tape and hand grenades. Hitler is a character, and he's angry because a certain band of American soldiers is scalping his army, literally. And we get to see this, in full detail.

So of course, this will be a masterpiece.

MAX PAYNE trailer

Is it just me, or does this trailer look pretty cool? Either that or I'm blinded to my loyalty to one of Boston's proudest sons...

Summer Blockbuster Smackdown, Week 12

My Blog feels neglected, so I've decided to give it a little attention and toss off some updated Smackdown standings:

1.) Iron Man

2.) Forgetting Sarah Marshall

3.) Get Smart

4.) Hancock

5.) The Incredible Hulk

6.) Kung Fu Panda

7.) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

8.) The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

9.) Speed Racer

10.) The Strangers

11.) Don't Mess with the Zohan

12.) Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

13.) Wanted

Six Weeks from Tonight, I'm Gonna Kick Carl's Ass In Beerpong

It's almost wedding time, which means it's even closer to bachelor party time, which means Vegas. Three nights of crazy that for now will be summed up as this:

me: we're gonna do shots when we wake up in the morning

k?

carl: holy jesus

...
ok

That's the spirit!

Toxicity

You have to be prepared for a certain amount of criticism in this field. In fact, it’s best to prepare for a shitload of it. It may seem like people are attacking you, are trying to bring you down, but it’s rarely as vindictive as that. Usually the truth is much simpler – it’s easier to criticize something than it is to appreciate something. I’m not sure if that’s true everywhere. I’m also not sure I’m capable of seeing it any other way right now. This town is full of people who haven’t made it, and who never will. It’s full of people who have made it and burned out, and people who have burned out just trying. For an industry fueled by a collaborative, creative form, it’s alarming how much negativity swills around in the air. Maybe the horrible air quality is due to cars or industrial pollution, but I’m starting to think it’s really the toxicity expelled by the industry of Hollyhood.

Part of the problem IS that we look at this as an “industry,” and we look at it that way because it is. It certainly isn’t the dreamland all those actresses fresh off the bus way back when once thought it was. This isn’t a place where magic just happens (it’s never that simple, is it?), but it is a place where magic can be made.

I look at Hollyhood as a game. The finish is great, but there are a trillion obstacles in the way. You have to navigate them in order to succeed, and you have to be armed with the proper tools to do so.

There are a few people out here who want to help you. And there are more people who want to help you help them. And there are even more people who don’t want to help you at all. The trick is wading through these three groups and understanding what criticism is coming from which people. It’s something I’m still working on figuring out. One thing I have figured out is this – criticism from any of these groups can either help you get to where you want to go, or it can punch you in the stomach, spit on your face and tell you “I told you so.” It’s all in what you do with it.

I myself have been known to take the punches, and then wallow around in the pain to the sacrifice of “my craft.” It can happen, and it can happen in an instant. One minute you’re riding high on dreams and potential, the next you’re shriveled up on the ground as negativity beats you down. The “Pros” don’t let this happen, or at least they don’t let it happen for too long.

I am not a pro. I let it happen. I allowed myself to get my ass kicked, and now I’m stuck in the recovery process. I’m thinking the best way to deal with it is to write my way out, and I’m hoping that it doesn’t delay my progress too long, and that next time will be different.

Because there will be a next time. The criticism WILL come. And I will let it, because you can’t get anywhere by telling everybody to fuck off. You can’t grow. You can’t learn. But you also don’t get anywhere by letting the negative energy take over, or by turning what was meant to be constructive into something destructive. You have to know what to do with criticism, how to use it to improve.

You have to take it, but you also have to be strong enough to know that you are better than it. If someone tells you “this sucks” and you believe it, you’re done. More often than not, it doesn’t suck. There’s something wrong with it, but that can be fixed. “Sucks” is beyond repair. “Flawed” means it can be fixed.

It’s easy for people to bring you down. It’s harder to love yourself and your work enough to get back up.

It’s time to get back up.

Summer Blockbuster Smackdown - Week 10

I love summer movies. I don’t understand the people who don’t. To chastise the summer fare as “mindless popcorn flicks” with little to no integrity or intelligibility is both incorrect and pointless. We should be celebrating their inconsequential escapability! These films exist for two reasons – to make money, and to be fun. They don’t always succeed, of course, but why should we hate on them for trying? If you say you “hate” INDIE 4, I say there’s something wrong with you. I understand having problems with it, because there are plenty of problems to have. But did you not have fun? Did you not smile, or mutter a “whoa” or two? Or did you sit there and pout about how the film failed to meet the expectations you knew deep down inside it never could meet.

Summer movies defy standard criticism. We can talk about what they do right and what they do wrong, and we obviously can point out which we enjoyed and which let us down a little bit. But to write off TRANSFORMERS because it isn’t THERE WILL BE BLOOD…well, that’s just ludicrous.

Updated Summer Blockbuster Smackdown Standings:

1.) Iron Man

2.) Forgetting Sarah Marshall

3.) Get Smart

4.) The Incredible Hulk

5.) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

6.) Kung Fu Panda

7.) The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

8.) Speed Racer

9.) The Strangers

10.) You Don't Mess with the Zohan

11.) Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Rocknrolla

Remember when Guy Ritchie was the shit?

There was a period during my misguided but nevertheless enjoyable years at USM in which SNATCH was the coolest thing in the world. I saw it in the theater with DANNYBOY, JD and ROOMIE DAVE and was blown away. When it came out on DVD, it was basically on permanent rotation in our living room (along with SUPER TROOPERS and I think FIGHT CLUB). Guy Ritchie was THE MAN…a poppier Tarantino with an eye for quirky, non-stop entertainment.

And then Madonna ruined everything. Of course, there’s more to the downfall of Guy Ritchie, but it’s easiest to blame Madonna, so I’ll do that (stupid Madonna).

Anyway, after several debacles, disasters and ghost comebacks (and one dreadfull rip-off…sorry people, but SMOKIN’ ACES was a painful entry in the “this could have been so awesome” category), Guy Ritchie is (potentially) back! Check out the trailer for his new back to basics flick, ROCKNROLLA, here.

And yes, that is THE PIVEN sporting a bar-brit accent…

Flavor of the week, what once was, and what could have been

I think American Hi-Fi’s self-titled album is a woefully underappreciated work of sonic alternative art. Its 1 part Foo Fighters (with a drummer-turned-band leader crafting post-grunge tunes), 2 parts Smashing Pumpkins (listen to the guitars, the structure of the breakdowns) and 1 part pop rock, like Lit with an edge. If this album came out in 1995, we’d remember it as a classic alternative staple. Alas, Hi-Fi hit it big just this side of the millennium mark (behind the still catchy “Flavor of the Week” single) and will forever be known as a band that drifted in on the back end of a wave long since past. Like Puddle of Mud, they’re still at it (a new album is due out this year) but I can’t help but wonder what might have been.

Meanwhile, Frank’s played two Hi-Fi songs in the last ten minutes. So for now, I’ll bask in their 2001 nostalgia.

“I still believe it when you say, it’s another perfect day…”

We asked them to "Beat LA," and they did...

The 2007-2008 NBA season ended exactly as it began tonight, with the Boston Celtics decimating the competition on their way to a record 17th championship. It ended exactly as THE RU and I predicted that it would last fall, exactly as it should, against the opponent we all wanted them to meet and beat.
There’s too much to say and nowhere really to begin, so I’ll just say this – with The Celtics joining The Red Sox and The Patriots as a championship force for the post-millennium era, Boston is, without a doubt, the greatest sports city in the country. You simply cannot argue against this any more. You just can’t.
In the end, KG said it best - "What can you say now?"
A big thank you to Pierce, KG, Ray Allen and Co. for bringing it all home.
Go Boston!

Dialogues with a Mad Rapper

There’s an aspiring NYC rapper who calls my office every morning looking to talk to “the mogul, The Red Baron,” citing new grand slam business deals and old school connections as an in to talk to “the man” (fun fact: THE RED BARON was a turntable master back in the early days of hip-hop before going Jay-Z business pro in cutthroat Hollyhood). Of course “the man” never takes his calls. I’m pretty much at the point where I just don’t bother telling him the dude is on the phone, and toss him on the phone sheet instead.

***In H-Town, the assistant is essentially the gateway. You don’t get to “the man” without going through us, and if we let you in when “the man” doesn’t want to deal with you, we catch hell. Thus, we’re pretty selective about letting you - or your script, or your demo, or biz propositions, etc. - past the pearly gates. One might think this would lead to a power trip, but it’s actually more an operation based on fear. It’s got to be legit, or we’ll catch shit.***

Anyway, since THE RED BARON never talks to him, THE RAPPER kills time talking to me. When his number comes up and I answer, it’s usually a 10minute+ conversation ranging from stories of THE RED BARON, old school hip hop, street lingo, public chronic bars, high time parties, East Coast vs. West Coast and baldness. When I don’t answer, he leaves an eargasmic freestyle message that’s usually so good I sometime purposefully don’t answer his call just to hear what he lays down (as I did this morning – once again, worth it).

Anyway, after I phone-checked him this morning he called back to shoot the shit. Apparently, THE RED BARON gave him a smackdown lecture about getting his shit together last week, so THE RAPPER spent the week rapping. He’s ready to lay down tracks and promises to bring back that “old school shit tangled with the new flow dangle.” He’s been doing this along time and nothing’s ever come of it, so I’m not sure anything ever will. I hope the pieces come together for him, and it will be awesome if I can help.

For now I’ll drop this nugget of truth he shared with me this morning:

“I look at rap like it’s in its Hair Band era right now.” Truer words have never been spoken.

The Adventure of Frank the Ipod, Day 3

Frank was a bit bi-polar today...but then again, he's bi-polar pretty much everyday. Except when he's drinking. I'm worried he might be an alcoholic.

Today's sample tracks:

1.) “Australia” by The Shins

2.) “Sweet Potato” by Imperial Teen

3.) “Shiver” by Coldplay

4.) “Love Steals Us From Loneliness” by Idlewild.

5.) “Hypnotize” by The Notorious B.I.G.

6.) “The People” by Common

7.) “Aly, Walk With Me” by The Raveonettes

8.) “The End Complete IV: The Road and The Damned” by Coheed & Cambria

9.) “Someday” by The Strokes

10.) “Livin’ On The Edge” by Aerosmith

Songs Today = 46 (189 total)

The Adventure of Frank The Ipod, Day 2

Weird day today...fewer songs, but a harder selection:

1.) “Hard Way” by The Kinks
2.) “The Bleeding Heart Show” by The New Pornographers
3.) “Up Against The Wall” by Peter, Bjorn and John
4.) “New Hope” by Blink-182
5.) “Ain’t No Reason” by Brett Dennen
6.) “What Is And What Never Should Be” by Led Zeppelin
7.) “The Way We Get By” by Spoon
8.) “Carlotta Valdez” by Harvey Danger
9.) “Hounds of Love” by The Futureheads
10.) “At Last” by Neko Case

I now view this is as a good way to learn about Frank too. Apparently he's a big fan of The Futureheads (interesting) and The Zep (duh...You can say a lot about Frank, but he's no fool.)

Songs today = 45 (total, 143)

My life at the movies (Summer Blockbuster Smackdown)

I’ve been writing weekly movie reviews for a small New Hampshire paper since the summer of 2001. Seven years and I don’t have much to show for it. It’s been picked up here and there by a few other small New Hampshire newspapers. Occasionally a reader will tell the publisher that he/she decided to see/not see a movie because of me. Sometimes I even get into a spirited debate with one of the few people I speak to that actually reads it. The only $ compensation I get in return covers just about the ticket, snack money, gas money and nothing else.
Yet I continue to do it, week after week, with no real aspirations to actually do anything more or grow it into a career. On the contrary, criticizing other people’s films probably isn’t the best way to get ahead in this town. And let’s face it - I’m a pretty blunt dude. I can be harsh. No good could come of this. In fact, I’ll just go ahead and keep those reviews off this blog.
I guess I do it for three reasons:
1.) It keeps me going to the movies (you’d be surprised how many people in this town actually DON’T GO TO THE MOVIES. That’s like being a sports broadcaster and never watching games. Or designing clothes and living in a nudist colony. Seriously.)
2.) I do it to keep writing and, more importantly, keep a writing deadline.
3.) I do it because I’m a creature of habit and change scares the shit out of me. Seven years I’ve been doing this gig. Seven years my too-good-to-be-true fiancé has been putting up with me basically dictating not only WHAT movies we see, but WHEN. It’s ridiculous.
But for now I’ll keep doing it, because not doing would just be weird. With that in mind, I offer you a quick and continuously updating rundown of the summer so far in what I like to call my Summer Blockbuster Smackdown. Updated standings:
1.) Iron Man
2.) Forgetting Sarah Marshall
3.) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
4.) Kung Fu Panda
5.) The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
6.) Speed Racer
7.) The Strangers
8.) You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
9.) Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay

Steady and awesome

My favorite Indie band, The Hold Steady, has a new album due out next week (June 17th) and I’d say it’s tied with the new Weezer disc for the Best Album I’ve Heard This Year title. It both embraces their modern-Springsteen lore (they even have horns now!) and branches out completely from anything they’ve ever done.
If I had to call it right now, I’d say “Stay Positive” isn’t QUITE as good as their earlier albums (“Boys and Girls In America” is a classic to me), but it might be one of those slow burns that’s better on the 89th listen.
Only time will tell if this one will live up to their truly underappreciated catalogue of great albums I can never seem to get you people to listen to (okay, I guess that isn’t much to live up to) but for now I’m really digging the free streaming available here.
Of course, I’m a completely biased source. Check it out for yourself. For you newcomers I recommend breaking in with:

Track 1 - Constructive Summer
Track 2 – Sequestered in Memphis
Track 5 – Lord I’m Discouraged
Track 8 – Stay Positive
Track 9 – Magazines
Track 11 – Slapped Actress

Or any track off their earlier albums.

The Adventure of Frank the Ipod, Day 1

Recently (and by recently I mean a few hours ago) I decided to try and listen to my Ipod all the way through. I’m doing this because a.) I have too much music I never get to listen to, and b.) Work has been a bit long and boring lately and providing myself with meaningless little tasks helps to alleviate the pain. Obviously this will take days, maybe even weeks. Inevitably, something will go wrong, my Ipod will reboot and I’ll have to start over. But until then, I’m gonna take a cue from THE BRU and toss off a few Ipod Blogs.

Today’s top ten favorite songs randomly played by my Ipod FRANK:

1.) “Like Eating Glass” by Block Party
2.) “Area” by The Futureheads
3.) “Atom” by British Sea Power
4.) “I Love Boosters!” by The Coup
5.) “Farewell to the Pressure Kids” by Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew
6.) “John Allyn Smith Sails” by Okkervil River
7.) “Nobody’s Fault But Mine” by Led Zeppelin
8.) “A Favor House Atlantic” by Coheed & Cambria
9.) “Alive with the Glory of Love” by Say Anything
10.) “War Pigs” by Cake (sorry, BRU)

Total songs played = 95

There's no place like home

I thought I’d outgrown susceptibility to “homesickness” by my 3rd year at summer camp. Nope. I haven’t. Twenty years later, my immune system hasn’t found a way to kick it.
Increasingly since I’ve moved to the otherworldly Southland I’ve found myself longing for pretty much all things New England. New England people. New England sports. New England lifestyle. Even New England snow. I miss shoveling snow. Seriously.
Don’t get me wrong – there are plenty of things to be excited about in this town, and I’m not in it alone (thank God). But there pretty much isn’t a day that goes by that, even if only for a minute, I’d rather be “home,” defined as a place, a group of people, or a time (really, when you think about it, isn’t this what LOST is all about? Existing in a sense of belonging?).
I’ve been reading a lot of the SportsGuy lately (another transplated New Englander “living” in L.A.) and, what with the somewhat historic Celtics series, he’s been back to Boston a bit. The other day he wrote this:

"Walking around Causeway before the game, the street was effectively covered in green -- just guys in their teens and 20s happily walking around in green T-shirts and jerseys, randomly chanting "Beat L.A!" and "Let's go Celtics!" The bars were teeming with locals, many of them distracted by a timely Red Sox-Rays brawl that put everyone in the right mind-set for seven games against Kobe and the Kobettes. At the intersection in front of Causeway and Canal, there was a 25-foot replica of the NBA's golden championship trophy, with about 25 crazed Celtics fans flanking it and starting various cheers. Six especially creative Boston fans were walking around dressed like members of the '86 team -- Bird, McHale, Parish, DJ, Walton and Ainge -- wearing especially tight jerseys and shorts and corresponding wigs for each player. You always hear the phrase "happy to be here" about teams, but this might have been the first "happy to be here" fan base."

Homesickness just kicked me in the stomach and called me names.

L.A. is my office, but "Boston you're my home!"

I am a Celtics fan. I say this proudly, and with a great big gloating smirk now that I live in L.A. and the beloved Lakers are down 2-0 in a rejuvenated, exhilarating NBA Finals. But at the same time I say this, I say it with a chip on my shoulder. See, I’m what some might call a “plastic paddy” when it comes to the Celtics. In fact some people have called me that, or at least they would if I hadn’t just branded the term as it relates to Celtics fans right here on the spot (I dare you to find somebody who did it first! And if you do, I’ll ignore that evidence just like Jack ignored the Island disappearing right before his eyes! ‘Cause that’s just how stubborn I am).
Those people called me other things, but I think you get my point.
For those of you not familiar with the term “plastic paddy,” I’ll fill you in. My Irish buddy…from here on out to be known on this blog as…IRISH…we had plenty of other nicknames for him, but he hated all of them, and I can’t really remember them at the moment so IRISH it shall be…anyway, IRISH came to America Eddie Murphy style last August to pursue the same silly dreams of cinematic heroism as the rest of my transported crew, and THE GLOW was quick to induct him into THE ALLIANCE. In the process, THE GLOW was kind enough to describe me as being (among plenty of other horrible and image defecating things, I’m sure) the “Irish” guy. IRISH met me and quickly dubbed me a “plastic paddy,” aka “fake Irish.” I don’t have the accent. I’m not a pure blood (only a half blood). I can drink IRISH under the table any day of the week, but that doesn’t matter. I’m a replica. I’m not the real deal.
There are plenty of “plastic paddy’s” hopping the Celtic bandwagon this year, and although I’m a long term fan and bleed true Boston sports team blood, I could easily be lumped among them by anybody who wants to give me a hard time. See whereas I’ve always been a diehard Sox, Patriots and Bruins fan, I’ve been known to cheer for other teams in the NBA (not in place of, but in addition to).
Which brings me to a question I received three times over the past week, via text, gchat and phone – “So, who are you rooting for?”
Yes, in my horribly not so secret past, I committed what some might call a horrible sin – I cheered for the Lakers.
To many a Boston fan, cheering for the Lakers is like cheering for the Canadians, the Colts or – the worst of them all – THE YANKEES. And in the 60s, 70s, 80s and pretty much all of NBA history, I’d say it probably was. But as an 80s baby with a somewhat lacking (to put it kindly) father figure, I failed to develop the appropriate hatred for a team that hasn’t mattered to the Celtics in two decades. It’s easy to hate the Yankees – it’s a rivalry that matters EVERY SUMMER. You can say the same for the Colts, who’ve become a meaningful opponent for the post-millenium new look Pats. To a lesser extent, you can even say the same about those hooligans from Montreal – at the least they’re a division rival.
But the Lakers? The Celtics have played them about 2 games a season for the last 20 years. None of which mattered. They weren’t in our division. We never played against them in the playoffs (when we made it). A Lakers/Celtics game was like a game against the Buffalo Bills - IT DIDN’T MATTER.
I didn’t watch the Magic/Bird battles. I missed out on the glorious Bill Russell years. I came to age in a time where this “rivalry” simply didn’t exist, and I lacked the true history lessons in hatred necessary to keep it alive.
(The Sports Guy, bless his sarcastic heart, recently offered this nugget of factual knowledge – “Boston beat L.A. for the title eight straight times before falling in 1985. If that's a long-standing rivalry, so is Tom vs. Jerry, Andy vs. The Sistas and hammer vs. nail. Isn't it more of a ‘recent rivalry that was once a relentless butt-whupping’?”)
If it sounds like I’m justifying my decision to cheer for Kobe and Co., I’m not. I’m simply saying that I was misguided. I was wrong to go against my heritage, even if I didn’t inherit it properly. It was sacrilegious to cheer for a hated rival, even though they weren’t a rival. I blame the devil for enticing me with wondrous on-court action and excitement. I like to watch Kobe play. It was fun (unlike, say, the Spurs or the Pistons, who live and die by boring basketball).
Okay, I seem incapable of admitting I’m wrong here. I’ll just say this – THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!
Regardless, this one thing I promise – I have always and will always prefer green over yellow, purple or any combination of the two. I know where my priorities lie.
Go Celts!