08-09 Fantasy Football Week 2 (The "Fuck You Michael Turner" week)

If Kharma cares about fantasy football, it’s pretty clear she slapped me across the face with a nice little reality check last week. It wasn’t a complete disaster. But it was tough.

Money League

Lost, 94-99, which dropped me all the way down to 5^th out of 12. Pretty much everybody underperformed but there were three primary reasons I lost: a) RB Michael Turner, b) WR Andre Johnson, and c) WR Randy Moss Turner was a complete bust this week, which hurt even more since he was so amazing last week. Moss was a basic no show, catching 2 passes for a total of 22 yards, and zero touchdowns. But what really killed me was Hurricane Ike. It postponed the Houston/Baltimore game, and left me with an empty spot on my starting roster where 20-point man Johnson used to be. I’d be REALLY angry about this if it weren’t for the fact that my silly little fantasy concerns pale in comparison to the real world people who actually had to suffer through the hurricane. Hopes and well-wishes to those poor folk.

My opponent, REECE (!), underperformed as well, but got enough from TE Jason Witten and RB Marion Barber in Monday night’s shootout to squeak by. Losing in that final game always sucks.

League record – 1-1

Bragging Rights League

Everything here went basically according to plan, despite the same problems from Turner and Johnson, and despite my choice to support Patriots QB Matt Cassel with positive vibes by starting him over stat-stud Tony Romo. Cassel under-performed statistically, but they won the REAL game, so I’ll just be happy with that…and of course the fact that I won this fake game too. My sneak attack pick this week was Seahawks TE John Carlson, who at least doubled expectations in every league. Coincidentally, I watched the games in a random Seahawks bar. I never expected this bar to even EXIST in LA. Then I find myself alone in the corner watching the Pats game on mute in the tiniest TV in the bar. Bizzaro world.

But really, it was WR Anquan Boldin who carried my team this week, negating a 51 point performance from my opponent’s QB (Philip Rivers).

Final score – 153.56 – 142.81.

League record – 2-0

Blitz League

I beat THE BRU down. Everybody but Turner performed well. Tony Romo once again came up huge for THE BRU, but once again it wasn’t enough. Final score – 308.30-242.65.

In other league news, DRAMA eked out a win from THE INVADER (287-263), while THE CHINAMAN straight destroyed MR. NICE GUY, embarrassing him with a 358.90-140.85 victory. This also gave him first place in the league, and I’ll battle him for that title this week.

League record – 2-0

Overall Fantasy Record – 5-1 (Boo. Yeah)