Dialogues with a Mad Rapper

There’s an aspiring NYC rapper who calls my office every morning looking to talk to “the mogul, The Red Baron,” citing new grand slam business deals and old school connections as an in to talk to “the man” (fun fact: THE RED BARON was a turntable master back in the early days of hip-hop before going Jay-Z business pro in cutthroat Hollyhood). Of course “the man” never takes his calls. I’m pretty much at the point where I just don’t bother telling him the dude is on the phone, and toss him on the phone sheet instead.

***In H-Town, the assistant is essentially the gateway. You don’t get to “the man” without going through us, and if we let you in when “the man” doesn’t want to deal with you, we catch hell. Thus, we’re pretty selective about letting you - or your script, or your demo, or biz propositions, etc. - past the pearly gates. One might think this would lead to a power trip, but it’s actually more an operation based on fear. It’s got to be legit, or we’ll catch shit.***

Anyway, since THE RED BARON never talks to him, THE RAPPER kills time talking to me. When his number comes up and I answer, it’s usually a 10minute+ conversation ranging from stories of THE RED BARON, old school hip hop, street lingo, public chronic bars, high time parties, East Coast vs. West Coast and baldness. When I don’t answer, he leaves an eargasmic freestyle message that’s usually so good I sometime purposefully don’t answer his call just to hear what he lays down (as I did this morning – once again, worth it).

Anyway, after I phone-checked him this morning he called back to shoot the shit. Apparently, THE RED BARON gave him a smackdown lecture about getting his shit together last week, so THE RAPPER spent the week rapping. He’s ready to lay down tracks and promises to bring back that “old school shit tangled with the new flow dangle.” He’s been doing this along time and nothing’s ever come of it, so I’m not sure anything ever will. I hope the pieces come together for him, and it will be awesome if I can help.

For now I’ll drop this nugget of truth he shared with me this morning:

“I look at rap like it’s in its Hair Band era right now.” Truer words have never been spoken.