Numbers (Vegas on the Brain)

Today during my “LOST Lunch” I finished my 2^nd run through the 1^st season of THE GREATEST SHOW FEATURING AN ISLAND AND TIME TRAVEL EVER! So obviously, I’ve had numbers on the brain. Have you ever thought about what purpose numbers serve in society? How we rely on them as crutches of structure and itemization, how we would probably collapse in murmured mumblings without their ever-present reassurance of measurement and universal definition? Have you ever been that bored and dorky? No? Well, I have. Here are how a few numbers presently define my life and the world around me.

7 – as in, 7 days from now I’ll be partying it up with the CBC in Vegas. I realize everybody is probably sick of hearing me talk about it, but I can’t help it. This trip basically rules my livelihood right now. Everything I do, every moment that passes is just a countdown to this trip. Sad, exciting, but so.

51 – along with the Vegas trip comes the reason for that trip. According to our convenient countdown at www.jessandwheeler.com, the wedding will take place exactly 51 days from, oh, about 6 hours ago. 51 seems like a big number compared to 7, which is why 7 is occupying my space time continuum to such an extent. But when compared to the 740 (which is approximately about the numbers of days that have passed since we’ve started planning this whole thing) it doesn’t seem like much. This wedding is just around the corner. I almost can’t process just how soon it is. After Vegas, it’s full steam ahead.

23 – as in, August 23^rd, which is my birthday, and just happens to correlate with my trip to (you guessed it) VEGAS! I’m not really a big birthday guy, although J-MO has done her damndest to make them all pretty kick ass. She usually does this by doing more than I ever ask for. It’s like adding lots of cool tricks to an already cool game. They make it that much better, but I’d be happy with less. I’m just not too demanding in this department.

Anyway, combining these three things (Bachelor Party, Birthday, CBC reunion) into one, ultimate weekend in Vegas…well, it just seems like my birthday is part of a grander good.

27 – as in, I’M 27 FUCKING YEARS OLD NOW? Does this mean I have to grow up? Does this mean I’m getting old? Does this mean I should be suffering through some Zach Braff-like late 20s crisis? I hope not. At some point, and I really can’t pinpoint when…but at some point I got excited about being an adult. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about “what was” when I was younger. High school, college, a general lack of worldly responsibility. But now I look forward to, you know, the future fun stuff. My grandfather is 100 years old. He wears a diaper now, but still. Barring any personal disaster, I’ve got a ways to go. I’m planning on enjoying the trip.

8 – as in 8 gold medals in 8 tries. As in perfection. How is no one talking about how Michael Phelps needs to be PERFECT in order to achieve this 8 medal goal? It’s not like he’s competing 9 times and has any sort of leeway. He has to win EVERY SINGLE TIME. It’s like if people spoke about the 2004 ALCS, after that 19-8 game three blowout, and said “well, the Sox only have to win 4 games to advance to the next round. They only have to win 4 games to make history.” They only had to be PERFECT to advance, to make history. They had to win 4 IN A ROW. Phelps has to DOUBLE that feat. DOUBLE. And everyone will be SOOOOO disappointed if he only wins 7 or (God forbid) 6. Only. This baffles me.

451,888,386 – The dollar amount for THE DARK KNIGHT’s domestic B.O. haul to date. Look how big that number is. Just look at it. Damn. That’s a big number.

Fun Quote of the Day

"I wish I could just sleep till Vegas" - THE CHINAMAN

Letters Lost

When I first started at this company, it was a very different place. It was smaller, had a different vibe, housed different people. Over the last 4 months it has expanded, reached out and collapsed in. Like breathing, it exhaled a few people, collected in a few more. One of those people exhaled was a talent manager, and he took with him his client list, which was pretty small but substantial in notoriety. This isn’t a post about a loss of talent, though. His clients have been replaced with newer, different clients. And it isn’t a post judging the people new or old – I liked the ones that left, I like the ones that came.

There’s an incidental, transitional element that I every so often notice, and every so often it breaks my heart a little. See, that talent manager that left? One of his clients was a popular young Disney star, the kind that inspires hundreds or thousands of young girls (and a few boys) across the country to track down a mailing address and send off heartfelt, handwritten letters, pictures and symbols of adornment. In reality, she probably never received these as a client. But there was always that chance they would. Now that her manager is gone, they collect in piles on a ledge, never to be seen, opened, recognized and especially not responded to.

How is that not sad? It’s like writing a letter to Santa Clause, only maybe worse. To a thousand little girls across the country, this Disney star it their hero or idol or roll model. They reached out. They sent crayon-labeled envelopes. And those envelopes go almost directly to the garbage bin. They aren’t even recycled. They never had a chance.

And that sucks.

This Week in My Life... (A Rambling)

It’s been a weird week. Saturday I caught up with some Bostonians I haven’t seen since high school (amazingly, they don’t seem to have changed a bit). Sunday I came down with a wicked cold/flu/viral ass-kicking that had me sprawled out across the floor after my walk back from the Culver downtown theater. I’d love to blame this sickness on THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, which I suffered through quite numbly, but in reality it’s probably my inability to de-stress and relax that allowed for the viral invasion.

I woke up the same on Monday but went to work anyway, and then proceeded to clumsily break one of the cardinal rules in this godforsaken industry – I asked THE BOSS, a dude who’s about ten to twenty rungs above me in the Hollywood latter I’m staring up everyday – to read my script. I figured, “Hey, I can’t just wait around for something good to come to me. I need to make it happen!” The verdict’s out on that decision.

Tuesday I felt mildly delirious, and again went to work anyway. THE BOSS was traveling into a literal hurricane, which of course set us up for a travel disaster. That’s always fun to deal with. I bet it really made him want to read my script. I pray to God he didn’t. I ended the night alternating between uncontrollable shivers and couch-soaking sweats, with a fever somewhere in the 103degree range.

I went to work the next morning, battened down the hatches and escaped home for some much needed R&R. The idea of being sick in August is ridiculous to me. The idea of neglecting to take time off from work for fear of backlash is even worse. The reality that I spent the afternoon dealing with emails and scheduling anyway? (This is why I can’t relax).

I woke up today at about 85%, which is fucking fantastic. I’ve listen to EQX all day, which has supercharged my spiritual recovery (the fantastic “real alternative” station of my youth, available for free, from thousands of miles away, courtesy of the internet…gotta love it). I’ve had great fun at my coworker’s expense (see post below), though he might someday try to kill me for it. Maybe tonight. I read a great script by a friend, which is always nice. I fucked up a conference call, which happens. I’m happy.

It’s weird how some days you wake up and just know you’re going to have a good day. I take a few moments every morning before I walk into the office to think about the things I’m thankful for. I use the time to pump myself up, to put myself in a positive frame of mind. Because no matter how bad things might seem in the moment, I know I have a pretty darned good life. More positive than negative. I think if we take time to really consider everything, most of us can say that.

Anyway, today I didn’t really need it, and it’s been that kind of day. There are still problems, still some pretty big issues to work out (with a wedding coming up and a career up in the air, how can there not be?). But they honestly don’t seem that bad right now.

To top it all off, I have two things I’m EXTREMELY thankful for at the moment. The first is J-MO, who’s been nothing short of an angel taking care of me this week. Believe me, it’s a tough job. I’m not the best person to be around when I’m sick.

The second is the bachelor party, which is just two weeks from tonight. TWO WEEKS. I can hardly believe that. We’ve been planning it forever, and it’s basically here. Well, THE CHINAMAN and co. have done the bulk of the planning, but still. These two weeks will fly by, like life always does. Then Vegas. Then the wedding.

I’m psyched.

For Hunter, courtesy of Fish, with love

R. I. P. CHAD

“Mr. Charitable Contribution”

Chad Pennington | #10 | QB

Height: 6-3 Weight: 225 Age: 32

Born: 6/26/1976 Knoxville , TN

College: Marshall

Experience: 9th season

You threw for 13,738 yards in your illustrious career with the JETS, just slightly less than Brett Favre (47,917 less).Your uncanny ability to fuck everything up will not be forgotten. Nor will the many charitable contributions you made to New York and the NFL.