Quote of the Day

"Being an assistant in this town is like taking a 9-year-old to FAO Schwartz and telling him not to touch anything. If a bunch of 9-year-olds were stuck in that store for three years and weren't able to touch anything, they'd have boozing and smoking problems too. They'd be homicidal too. Which I think is my problem."

- Hunter Seidman

Download This (another 12 track playlist)

“I Don’t Care” – Fall Out Boy

“Pop Lie” – Okkervil River

“Gives you Hell” – The All American Rejects

“Does This Mean You’re Moving On?” – The Airborne Toxic Event

“Love Lockdown” – Kanye West

“Sequestered in Memphis” – The Hold Steady

“Black Heroes” – Ratatat

“Umbrella” – All Time Low

“Churches Under the Stairs” – Broken Social Scene

“Ayo Technology” – Milow

“It’s the Love” – The Breeders

“Natural Disaster” – Plain White T’s

08-09 Fantasy Football Week 2 (The "Fuck You Michael Turner" week)

If Kharma cares about fantasy football, it’s pretty clear she slapped me across the face with a nice little reality check last week. It wasn’t a complete disaster. But it was tough.

Money League

Lost, 94-99, which dropped me all the way down to 5^th out of 12. Pretty much everybody underperformed but there were three primary reasons I lost: a) RB Michael Turner, b) WR Andre Johnson, and c) WR Randy Moss Turner was a complete bust this week, which hurt even more since he was so amazing last week. Moss was a basic no show, catching 2 passes for a total of 22 yards, and zero touchdowns. But what really killed me was Hurricane Ike. It postponed the Houston/Baltimore game, and left me with an empty spot on my starting roster where 20-point man Johnson used to be. I’d be REALLY angry about this if it weren’t for the fact that my silly little fantasy concerns pale in comparison to the real world people who actually had to suffer through the hurricane. Hopes and well-wishes to those poor folk.

My opponent, REECE (!), underperformed as well, but got enough from TE Jason Witten and RB Marion Barber in Monday night’s shootout to squeak by. Losing in that final game always sucks.

League record – 1-1

Bragging Rights League

Everything here went basically according to plan, despite the same problems from Turner and Johnson, and despite my choice to support Patriots QB Matt Cassel with positive vibes by starting him over stat-stud Tony Romo. Cassel under-performed statistically, but they won the REAL game, so I’ll just be happy with that…and of course the fact that I won this fake game too. My sneak attack pick this week was Seahawks TE John Carlson, who at least doubled expectations in every league. Coincidentally, I watched the games in a random Seahawks bar. I never expected this bar to even EXIST in LA. Then I find myself alone in the corner watching the Pats game on mute in the tiniest TV in the bar. Bizzaro world.

But really, it was WR Anquan Boldin who carried my team this week, negating a 51 point performance from my opponent’s QB (Philip Rivers).

Final score – 153.56 – 142.81.

League record – 2-0

Blitz League

I beat THE BRU down. Everybody but Turner performed well. Tony Romo once again came up huge for THE BRU, but once again it wasn’t enough. Final score – 308.30-242.65.

In other league news, DRAMA eked out a win from THE INVADER (287-263), while THE CHINAMAN straight destroyed MR. NICE GUY, embarrassing him with a 358.90-140.85 victory. This also gave him first place in the league, and I’ll battle him for that title this week.

League record – 2-0

Overall Fantasy Record – 5-1 (Boo. Yeah)

Okkervil and Friends

The summer of '06 I started using Emusic.com, a great paysite that provides access and often introduces people to new indie music. It isn't ALL indie music, of course, but you won't find any major label albums on there. Anyway, I discovered a bunch of great bands there (The Hold Steady, Bon Iver, The National, etc.) and most of them have since gotten pretty big.
One of these bands, Okkervil River, played Lollapalooza this year and promptly killed it on stage. And they're getting a following as a result. These guys consistently put out stellar albums and EPs, as many and as often as two a year, so its about time they've got some recognition.
Their latest album, THE STAND INS, came out a couple weeks ago, and it might be their best (or at least their most accessible) yet. Still, these guys are largely unknown, so when I told K-FED to check them out and he couldn't find them on YouTube (his preferred platform for new music listening), I wasn't surprised. Then a funny thing happened - he found a whole slew of Okkervil related videos, including this cover of the song ("Pop Lies") I told him to listen to:



The cover is performed by a band called Bird of Youth, who I'm not familiar with. It's pretty standard, as far as singer/guitar covers go. The cool thing, to me, is that the song is even covered in the first place. Then I saw a link to this:



A cover of ANOTHER Okkervil song, this one by Bon Iver himself. And it's pretty good. Even the simplistic video is conceived well.

But what's really cool to me about this is the sense of community that comes along with it. Indie artists covering other indie artists, raising awareness about themselves and each other by posting it online, and sharing it with friends and fans in a very relaxed, appreciative way. It's exactly the opposite of almost everything I experience in Hollyhood, and exactly the thing that makes artistic community so appealing to me.

By the way, K-FED didn't dig the song, but that's his loss. The more important thing is, he knows who they are now.

Download This (a 12 track playlist)

The first in a new series of song recommendations, I've decided to toss off a weakly (translating to "whenever I feel like it") playlist of mostly new tracks I'm digging right now. Below, the first entry:

“Rocky Took a Lover” – BellX1

“Repetition Kills You” – The Black Ghosts

“Dawn of the Dead” – Does It Offend You, Yeah?

“Dancing Choose” – TV On the Radio

“1,000,000” – Nine Inch Nails

“The End of the Line” – Mettalica

“Cheap and Cheerful” – The Kills

“Magazines” – The Hold Steady

“Gasoline” – The Airborne Toxic Event

“I’m With You” – The Stills

“My Friend” – Dr. Dog

“Murder in the City” – The Avett Brothers

Tepid Entertainment

I’ve been writing weekly movie reviews for a NH paper for a little more than 7 years. In that time I’ve missed maybe a total of 7 weeks, usually supplanting a seasonal preview or Oscar column or something of that sort. I don’t do this because the pay is good (it’s not). I don’t do it out of loyalty, although I’m sure that factors into it. I primarily do it for two reasons:

1.) to keep writing, and to keep writing for a deadline (I can’t emphasize enough how important this is)

2.) to continue my cinematic education and stay in touch with the current movie world.

This isn’t entirely academic of course. I love movies, TV, music…I consume a lot of it because I enjoy it, and in turn it keeps me immersed in pop culture, which I consider just as important.

Anyway, I don’t post these reviews here because, well, I’m not always so nice. But I do email them to a few people, and occasionally these people respond, and these responses stir up dorky little arguments. Last week I reviewed BANGKOK DANGEROUS and defined it as “Tepid Entertainment” – a film “that quasi-entertains through detached, un-distracting storytelling, rarely alerting us to its presence but never worsening our day either.” One reader, who responds more than most (often to argue against me, about movies he hasn’t even seen, if only to throw me a few jabs and keep me sharp) thought this was a part of a bigger picture. I’m sure he doesn’t mind me sharing his two cents:

“I think you're hitting on something bigger than you were expecting to in this review. You got to it right at the end. The action genre has gone TEPID.

I'd be willing to say that even Die Hard 4.0 suffered from this. No matter how cool (J. Long) and campy (K. Smith) and hot (That Elizabeth ??? chick) and awesome (Bruce)... it still felt tepid.

I think that the only way is to reconstruct the genre by reflecting the truth. The harsh reality. Kill the hero! Evil abides. Like the dude. It's the reason why "No Country" got such acclaim.

Even poppy afterbirths such as "Bangkok" and anything else that's been out since "Heat" will forever lock the genre into a glitzy, cartoonish, overacted, CGI'd smorgasbord.

I think that filmmakers have forgotten that, as Jean Luc Godard once said, ‘...all you need for a movie is a gun and a girl!’”

I agree with him, to a certain extent. Even WANTED, which tries so hard to make our eyes pop, feels generic and standard these days. It’s tougher and tougher to wow people, and somehow simultaneously easier to pump out a buffet of standard. I imagine this is similar to what The Western went through as a genre, on its way to the endangered species list.

Remember, the action genre as we know it only really came into its own in the 1980s. It’s evolved since then, but only to a degree. DIE HARD was and always will be a high point. It’s the pinnacle. And THE MATRIX was the evolution. But since then, where have we gone? Where will we go? And is the action flick going the way of the west?

To be fair, I still enjoy these flicks, and the standard western was never really THAT bad. But people grew sick of the same ole thing. It’s hard to believe that would happen again. And, based on my current project, I hope it doesn’t.

“Poppy afterbirth.” Gotta love that.

Fantasy Football 08-9, Week 1 (Shameless Bragging)

The first week of the 2008-2009 Fantasy Football season is officially closed, and aside from the massive, darkening, disheartening shadow that is Tom Brady’s season-ending injury, I’m pretty damned happy with the results. As is the norm, I’ve got three leagues going this year, one for money, one for bragging rights, and a third for shits and giggles.

Money League

I actually didn’t realize this WAS a money league until yesterday, which is alright because I won anyway. This league is almost completely comprised of assistants/interns/deviants from the Brillstein Co., the rival management company across the street. And when I say rival, I mean like the Pats and the Bills, in that there really IS no rivalry but the lesser team (i.e. The Bills) likes to think there is. In this unfortunate comparison, however, I’m representing The Bills – Brillstein is the flashier, richer, glitzier, organization and we’re the underdogs with promise. I’m outnumbered 11-1 by higher-than-though “I have bagels every morning and get $250 gift cards for my birthday” chumps. So of course, I gots to represent!

Kicked off strong the first week, defeating “Da Pain 5” 137-70 (I guess he had the pain, but he forgot to bring it. Ba-dump-ching). #1 reason why? RB Michael Turner. 35 points when he was projected for 17. The man is a beast, a sleeper on a sleeper team. He was my secret weapon going into the draft, and so far I’m feeling pretty good about that.

WRs Randy Moss and Andre Johnson brought in an expected 21 points each. All went according to plan. Unfortunately for the victim, he can’t stay the same. WR Chad Ocho Cinco stumbled in with 3 points. TE Todd Heap gave him -1. But really, when your #2 receiver is Chris Chambers and your QB is flaky Matt Hasselbeck, how do you EXPECT to win?

(Note: I’m a Hasselbeck fan, ‘cause he’s bald, but The Bald Alliance only carries you so far. Jason Statham EARNS his kick-ass bald guy card. Michael Chiklis defines it on THE SHIELD. Time to step up, Hassels. You’re already losing points cause your name reminds me of this dude.)

As an added bonus, my 137 points is the most in the league and puts me in first place. Suck it, Brillstein.

Bragging Rights League (STEVIE DRAMA’S League)

What’s this? Another first place ranking? After beating down my DC buddy/Madden rivalry STEVIE DRAMA? Okay fine, I’m being a dick. But this IS the bragging rights league, so I’ll give myself a pass. Plus I won this league last year, so I’ve got some residual high to burn off.

Michael Turner came up big in this one too, rushing for 39.40 and securing me “based on week one, I drafted better than you” bravioso. WR Andre Johnson, RB Marshawn Lynch and Team Tennessee all came up big for me, negating the fact that I played WR Jabar Gaffney on a hunch and got a whopping ZERO POINTS from my #3 receiver. But that’s related to The Shadow, so let’s just leave it alone, shall we?

DRAMA, on the other hand, had basically no one come through. QB Caron Palmer, WR T.J. Houshmandzada, RB Joseph Addai - all M.I.A. RBs Willie Parker and Matt Forte (perhaps his smartest pick) came up strong and could have carried the Cincy/Indy bodybags to a close game, accept DRAMA also started WRs Marvin Harrison and Devin Hester at #2 and #3. A geriatric and a punt return specialist. You HAVE to do better than that.

Final score: 163.16 – 125.97.

NFL BLITZ LEAGUE (shits n’ giggles)

The Blitz league is the fun league – 5 CBC members and one Brillstein invader, making for All-Star teams and skyrocketing points. Appropriately, I put The Invader in his place with a 326.45 – 285.85 win. Michael Turner (sensing a pattern here?) was huge again, as was RB Willie Parker, TE Jason Witten, WR Terrell Owens and basically everybody else on the team. The one downer? THE SHADOW. Brady gave me 5.55 points before hitting the IR. Thankfully in fantasy land, I don’t have to rely on Matt Cassel to pick up the slack. I refuse to drop Brady though. Out of loyalty, he’ll keep a roster spot for the rest of the season. But I CAN win without him.

The Invader, meanwhile, will blame WRs Marques Colston and Santonio Holmes for his loss (just about 4 points between them) and a comparative lack of production from LT. He may be right.

In other league news, MR. NICE GUY basically beat the crap out of THE BRU, and had a much more creative and appropriate team motto (“O’Doyle Rules!”). BRU got damn near 100 points out of Tony Romo, but still finished with a meek 185. He’s in the basement, and I plan on keeping him there next week.

DRAMA, meanwhile, lost again, this time to THE CHINAMAN, who slapped the brass knuckles on in this one, beating DRAMA down with his own, beloved G-MEN. Eli, Plax and Jacobs combined for 140.65 points. DRAMA, on the other hand, got a total of 13 points from two RBs and his #2 WR. That’s GOTTA hurt.

Week 1 Results – 3-0. Boo. Yeah. Bitches.